Warner Oland, Architect of the Beijing Olympics, displays his creations.
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REUTERS/David Gray/Files
Severe drainage problems forced the designer to add a few architectural motifs which allowed for more efficient flow of ground water.
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Converting the dirigible hangar-type structure into a idealized sperm whale with a tightly-bound Captain Ahab allowed excess water to rush from the mouth and harpoon punctures beneath of water line into the quickly fashioned man-made lake. The plastic junk held the appropriate valves and flood gate mechanisms.
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(AP Photo/Greg Baker)
Oland used a Darth Vader mask and a classic optical illusion as inspiration to create the television tower which would facilitate the world-wide broadcast of the 2008 Summer Games.
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(AP Photo/Greg Baker/File)
The potential energy stored in that mile-square holding pen will loose 1.2 billion hydrogen-filled balloons at the end of the opening ceremony. The government has banned smoking and consumption of Szechuan cuisine during the release.
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During the dress-release of the balloons, 73 sports authority workers were lost when a wind shift blew them into a nearby corrugated box factory’s open, wood pulper. Three days of file-checking revealed that the unfortunate workers are now part of the 800 boxes holding Bo-Flex exercise equipment being shipped on the Ersatz Maru to the Seattle point of entry.
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(AP Photo/Ng Han Guan)
In a creative use of the coal gasification plant’s oily discharge into the causeway separating it from the stadium. Oland shined lights on the water so that it would reflect from the mirrored skin of the stadium which the architect called the world’s largest scrunchie.
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This 120 mile satellite photgraph proves that Oland’s assertion is valid. The blue hues on the perimeter is seepage from the buried Windex plant which had previously occupied the site.
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Images: (Ahab) cinematographers.nl; (Junk) travellerspen.com; (Scrunchie) freewebs.com; (tooth) seagrant.usf.edu; (balloons) blueballoonday.org; (optical illusion) dailyillusions.com; soccer field) asksoccer.com; (mask) starstore.com; (whale eye) cf now