I love Gillette products…
because they are not only well-made; they also sponsored hundreds of World Series games, scores of unforgettable prize-fights and…King Gillette was a great figure in the history of American business.
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I indicated with a red circle and star that portion of the packaging which involved me in a hotel bathroom escapade which rivaled the fight of James Bond and Red Grant in the compartment aboard the Orient Express in FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE.
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As there were no scissors packed for the short trip, a well-placed thumb nail would easily separate the the plastic halves of this nuclear isotope protective packaging.
Wrong!
Soon I found my self in a death struggle trying to use brute force to pull the package apart. What material would bend into a new grotesque form only to snap back as if a Spring breeze had passed. I employed a can of shaving cream as if it were naval gun softening a beach head prior to Marines’ landing. The packaging was dug in deeper than our opposition on Tarawa.
It is with a degree a shame that I admit resorting to cannibalism and retried the recently discarded MACH 3 blade from the trash basket and attempted to cut the Fusion package with it. When Gillette uses the term safety razors, they are dead serious. Not enough blade was available to score the plastic.
Because my wife had heard the struggle inside the bathroom, she knocked on the door(Screamed curses at the Fusion blades had given away the reason for the fight of man vs. plastic.) to announce she had tweezers.
I told her tweezers would not do it, ran to the writing desk to retrieve a ball point pen to stab the package along the dotted lines. These were not the slow swings of Tony Perkins in PSYCHO, but the fevered thrusts of Joe Pesci (aka Nicky Santoro) in CASINO when he attacked an obnoxious drinker.
On the tenth thrust, a pinhole opened, but five more well-placed stabs were necessary to open the hole large enough to allow my finger-nail to enter. Then with a utter disregard for pain, I shoved my fore-finger into the opening and ripped the blade cartridge from its hermetically sealed burial chamber.
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Might I humbly suggest a codicil for the opening instructions.
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Images: (Fusion-front) members-arstechnica.com; (Fusion-back) via diytrade.com; (pen) promotions.advancedweb.com; (fire axe) chiefsupply.com; (Bond/Grant) From Russia With Love via cinemaretro.com; (Fusion razor-blue) via topproductreports.com; (Fusion razor-orange) via uncrate.com; (shaving cream) enviroblog.com;